today I'm happy.

 [pics are finished and posted on December 26, 2012]



tell me how high I've been flying;
cause it just takes too long
to be somewhere, not be crying
over paths not crossed, over every single loss—
cause they all have calmed down.

and today, won't be single shed of nowhere brief descend.
and today, won't be simple, won't be all pretend;
no forced-flipped rainbow, no truthful 'it's the end'.

.

these late days have been giving me a lot of chance to strengthen myself and I honestly feel so happy to be able to have my runaway today. it's been so long since I felt this free and I just hope the rest of my -and your- days will be this amazing, too.

this evening, finally took out some chalks and drew on my yard's floor. pop will probably freak when he sees it, but I guess I can worry about that later. I've been missing this kind of moment since I can't even remember. I wanna draw as freely as this again. I wanna create something and inspire at least my own self with it. I wanna lay and just stare at the sky above as it darkens along with the sunset. I wanna go on living without pressure and the need to be afraid to fully act like a kid. I want to live.

I want to live.

and I can't be more happy of how my mind begins to believe. I want to live. I want to live. I want to live. as best as I can and as carefree. doing what pleases my heart and not holding back on everything. cause I know when I feel this free, I won't question myself that much.

I want to live and that's my true feeling today.