sometimes it's funny.

[pic is finished and posted on March 27, 2015]

how people can really spend their time clothed in sadness, worrying about things that actually don't worth it, pointing faults at themselves, while other people who hurt them don't even give a fuck about it. I think this world is sick. true kindness is hard to find nowadays. wish it were the other way around...

yes, yes.

[pic is finished and posted on February 19, 2015]

such an unproductive holiday, indeed. so lazy to do anything. should make better quality art soon. huhu. thanks for viewing, by the way.

self profile thingy.

extra stuff for submission to fresh n' brite. haha. it's kinda funny to see this over and over. :''

[pic is finihsed on November 23, 2014; posted on December 4, 2014]

dialog : d i l e m a .

—hasil kegundahan bulan lalu. [x]

.

.

.

tagged thingy from incross.

answering here cause it's like the most private site for me to write anything I basically want. thanks for tagging me. I really like the questions! :'')

vent, vent, vent.

random.

[pic is finished and posted on May 18, 2014]

oh, well...

mid-exam is over!

[pic is finished on May 3, 2014; posted on May 4, 2014]

but there's still a task. but I honestly don't care anymore. huhu. wanna go to ultigraph -an exhibition at UMN- with mi and meet pael there too tomorrow. wanna teach the kids at tfi on tuesday evening. besides all that, I guess I can spend the remaining time on the task. good thing is that I had finished both the mindmap and matrix around ten days before, so all left now is the main assignment. gonna experiment with watercolors. hopefully it'll turn out fine. heh.

anyway, whatever the things you're encountering in life right now, I hope you're all having fun in them, yeah? have a nice night, everyone. as always, thank you so much for taking your time to visit. ;)

another message.

[pic is taken on March 18, 2014; posted on March 20, 2014]

a message.

[pic is taken on March 12, 2014; posted on March 15, 2014]

pfft.

[pic is finished and posted on February 5, 2014]

and even after my first two final exam were finished -or to be more exact, considered finish- in only several minutes before the deadline, this bad habit just can't go away. -sobs-

well, I actually don't procrastinate that much on the first two exams, but knowing that I still can't finish them on time even when I don't procrastinate means that I surely need to put more guard on the next ones. but then again, here I am today, sleeping too much and doing this digital painting while there are three more productive options; one being to study for CB test tomorrow, one is to make a progress on my scrapbook, and the last one is to start doing something for my color theory exam. but still my bed and tablet won most of my attention. haha. -cries at the corner-

oh, well, will probably start studying later at night. and be more productive starting tomorrow, yes. scrapbook is going to be submitted in six days, while color theory is due in nine days. go, go, myself! ; u ; //

thanks for dropping by, by the way, guys. I hope that you're not procrastinating as much as me today. but doesn't mean you should push yourself too hard, okay? take care and have fun at whatever you're doing, all!

a slight change.

blue.

[pic is finished and posted on November 21, 2013]

distraction for today, meaning that it's about time to go back to homework. thanks for viewing, guys. :')

I don't ever wanna let you down.

"I don't ever wanna leave this town.

cause after all, the city never sleeps tonight."

[pic is finished and posted on September 2, 2013]

disclaimer: It's Time © 2012 by Imagine Dragons; performed by Imagine Dragons. link for the video is here.

dream of flying.

disclaimer: Dream of Flying © 2011 by Brian Crain; performed by Brian Crain.

[pic is finished and posted on August 27, 2013]

.

and as the tears flow for you, you dream about something.

that day you didn't know it, but your sibling came to see you again; wondering, and probably earlier than everyone,
losing.

but right above you now is the land you sometimes wondered about.
smiles and things you could not fully understand made its way as the curtains of those tired orbs started to hide them along with their vanishing light.

"it's okay," he last said; to which you reacted in a way that he could barely understand.
in the end, he's only assuming that you're going to be okay; even
now—

after everything has come to this, he's probably still muttering the same thing in his head.
a way to see things in softer spectrum, or splashes of paint made for temporary comfort. you couldn't tell.

it was after the wind made its way out
and never came back
that they gave you the last look they could; wondering, and probably preceded by your dearest sibling,—one whom they are now worried about—
losing.

his father had been very kind. his mother had been very kind. his neighbor had been very kind. everyone had been very kind.
he wondered if you felt it, too.

the last time he looked at you, he was glad to see how the glow in yourself seems to showcase itself through the slow movement of your chest; and he sighed in relief, somehow sure that the faint lantern will either stay or shine brighter.
but even if the glow eventually diminishes, you still look the same
and you still mean the same.
sad as can be, at least that's something he's glad about.

he ripped one of the fallen leaves and put it beside your neck;
you still slept soundlessly as the land you once looked down to become your new sky
—a warm and welcoming one, he hoped—
and he smiled.

even until now, he couldn't be sure of what you're dreaming about yesterday
and he also couldn't be sure of what you're dreaming about today.

he sometimes wondered if you dream about your life, your sibling and your parents, the ones who were kind enough to share some love to you; but, as it says, he can only wonder as your dream stretches further.
wondering can be very dangerous; but at this matter, he decided to give that saying no thought.

"it's okay," he last said.
and he hoped—as sad as it can be—you would believe it.

and as the tears flow for you, you dream about something
—you dream of flying

somewhere

nice.

.

and how did you know...

unimportant notice, but anyway...

deleted some of the posts in the past cause I feel the need to, sorry. -sigh- copy-pasted most of the posts to a document, though, so I can still look at them whenever I want to. so, erm, if you happen to stumble upon some posts where I state about it being my one-hundredth or two-hundredth post, it's actually not a miscount but a cause of this deleting activity. :'3 huff.

also... on a more unimportant matter, I just realized a few weeks ago that the real meaning to 'shrug' is to raise your shoulders or how you call that activity which signalizes that you have no single clue about a certain matter or something -wow, what is english?; sobs-. I honestly thought it was that act where you scratch the back of your head whenever you make some silly mistakes or statements or something. well, with that being said, I'm sorry suppose you ever get confused or even offended during your talk with me all this time, especially when I'm using the '-shrug-' expression -I believe they spread in several posts here, too, so sorry for that as well-. I might make the same mistake again once in a while in the future, so sorry in advance if that happens, too. :'D

...and if anyone knows the real word for that scratching the back of your head activity kind of thing -forever crying over my english-, if it's not much of a trouble, do tell me, please! :) I'd like to know and maybe put it to use. heh.

anyway, a bit about life, will start college in less than three weeks, while some stuff preceding and related to it will pretty much start in just a week. am surely excited but will surely miss my very long and enjoyable holiday. -slapped- heh. hope nice things are happening in your lives, too, guys! and feel free to drop me a message wherever possible if you wanna talk. until then, take care. :)

everything...

—feels nostalgic lately.

be it about the time when the wind whispered about how everything that surrounds should be greeted with a proper smile, or the ones when the wind told me about a tale that was slightly but quite not an opposite; of how the raindrops and the once blue sky would always help me fix my mind, forgiving the unclear truth that was shut inside the one thing that had many times been reminded to be cast out by the floating air. and right behind me now was one whom I knew but no longer could keep. and I'm actually quite glad for it.

and as I offered him a smile—one which spilled out due to the warmth that finally reveals a small piece of my heart—I knew this time he was smiling, too.

and as he melted to the transparent wall, I obligated myself to carve the remaining of the shatter like I silently promised, one by one as his previous masterpieces strummed into my sighting; each was a self-proclaimed masterpiece, for one with shaken hands could only comfort himself by such belief. but as I glued his crumbling stature into every part that fits, I knew for sure that they had been good. not for the constant argument, perhaps; but for a pair of damp, lonely lens, yes.

"thank you," I then muttered as he thanked me back.

soon after, coughing noiseless air into the scenery was me again, for the one who had once been my only companion there had already diminished, leaving a ripple of hope of how at least a bit of his sparkle could linger at the shoulders of the ones whom his sad yet poetic farewell came across with. I, being that person, smiled again, this time tightening my grip upon his unspoken wish.

true that it seemed unlikely, somehow, but if it was the final thing that crawled to the air from his vanishing gleams, I would do as he say and try to create a better masterpiece.

and as I looked through the instructions he accidentally left me, I smiled, for the third time on this occasion; for everything that has been cracked and everything that has fallen...

—has never looked so beautiful up until this moment.

for one day.

[pic is finished on July 7, 2013; posted on July 23, 2013]

another calm and casual day.

the last trip I went to back in late June was pretty much calm and casual. it's nice that its lovely pace seems to linger and even blend with these late days I've been spending at home. too bad I didn't take my camera during the trip, so no visual sharing for some of the amazing places I went to, but planning to write about one of them... somewhat. hopefully I can finish it soon. heh.

anyway, spent a little time drawing using chalks with my sister today, which result I'll probably post after this. it sure has been a long time since I played with chalks. :') huff.

also finally tried to take some pictures with the camera I got from my uncle again. my brother has been telling me to practice from now if I don't wanna struggle like him during photography class -I don't know what to study about, though; I've helped him with his assignment before but I could only imagine some of the technical words he used with his friends; I have a feeling I'll struggle harder, but hopefully I can do my best; sob-, so I guess I kinda followed his advice a bit today.

just random shots like before, though. don't even have any understanding of any technique or any concept or anything, so sorry for posting them despite the randomness and the quality, guys. just feel like posting them... somewhat. -shrug-

[pics are taken and posted on July 3, 2013]

also... this little kitten has been coming back a lot to my house ever since my mom gave him/her some food several days ago. he/she is so adorable and shy and I rarely hear him/her meows like... wanna hug him/her but he/she will probably run away, so... :'D

[pics are taken and posted on July 3, 2013]

and he/she just magically climbs into the pot in the sixth picture. that's just very unexpected and adorable. garsh... kitten, you're so lovely. -sob- thanks for liking our food, but please try not to depend on us too much cause you have to learn to work on yourself and live independently, too, okay. :)

heh. I guess that's all the pics that I feel like posting. sorry again for the quality, I... -look down- and thanks for reading this far, guys. whether you're having some busy days or calm days like mine right now, I hope you'll be able to handle everything just fine. wish you luck and hope to see you again next time! ;D