june 20.

[pic is finished and posted on June 20, 2013]

last day at my first part-time job. hopefully it's okay for me to reminisce a bit. :)

hmph. everything sure begins to feel very funny right now, I mean, remembering what I was like and how I felt about things back then... -sigh- yes. I did only spend two hours on each workday, but this job sure brought a lot of changes to me. and I'm just glad that, right now, I felt that it wasn't a completely wrong decision to apply for it in the first place.

garsh, even I have mixed feelings about it when I was about to apply, if I remember it right; of how I kinda wanna do this job and how the other part of me is scared of some of the skills needed for it that I certainly don't have, at least back then. and then the training came and it made me love it with my whole heart, although soon after it's over, some changes took place and I spent pretty much a year as a regular worker, questioning whether I love doing my job or not.

I'm glad that I stayed for the whole year. from it, I at least grew to understand a lot of things and probably be better, too, not only at handling the job, but mostly at both confidence and... well... being less fearful in general. they're probably qualities I still don't have right now, but I'm glad enough to know that I've at least improved; a lot, even, and that's all thanks to this place.

then again, everyone's been so kind. at first, it made me feel down how everyone seemed to be troubled by my inability to do the job well -even until now; shrug-, but everyone keeps helping me and still acts nice to me despite everything. I couldn't imagine better people to work along and work for -the owners of the place are really nice; and one of them would always guide me and help me out and even care about her employees' school lives considering a lot of them were high school students like me; I just graduated last May, by the way; not important, lol- right now. it seems like I got lucky to apply at a good place for my first job, considering my only reason to apply there is that it's only ten minutes away from my house by foot. -shrug- I just... wish that all these kind people and that everyone's lives would always be filled with happiness cause they truly deserve it. huff.

and, garsh, really, thinking back, everything just seems so funny. I used to always wish to be freed from this job during the time I kept troubling everyone, but right now, I guess all those sad days weren't that bad, after all. that's why, if you're reading this, I hope you'll believe in better days as well. life is never static, after all, right? :')

as for today, there'll be a gathering of all the employees, probably games and such to close the semester together, so technically my last day of working was yesterday. haha. but anyway, just like how last year's gathering been, I'm sure this one will also be fun. I still trouble everyone even today, but they're just so kind... huff. thank you.

and... I remember that a few months ago, I told someone that I'm still trying to figure out whether I'll end up liking or not liking the job for how unfitting it is to the skills that I have and all the troubles I caused. today, I decided that I perhaps like it. true that it probably won't be my first choice of job anymore, but that 'part' of it is still something that pulls me and makes me happy; and if there's a chance I can find something else I'm better at that also has that 'part' in it, I'm sure I'll love that job forever.

heh. sorry for rambling all of the sudden, guys. -shrug- I guess I needed it, somewhat; I mean, to clarify how much this job has been a great change to me and how all those not-so-great days turned out to be lessons and how the greater days turned to be sweet memories anyway. therefore, I hope you guys can have a lot of great days that you deserve and that you can go through and become better at life through some lower days. thanks for still being here, guys. I'm sure a lot of people will be happy simply just by your existence. :')

last words, it's been fun working for the last fourteen months. thank you so much for letting me have the chance to work at such a wonderful place, meet a lot of amazing people, and gain a lot of lessons and experiences from it. thank you! :')

p.s.: maybe this can be counted as my sixth take to the art improvement challenge, too, which is to draw the strangest object you found in your house. got these lovely calender-kind-of-thing from a wedding. just thought I drew it on a memorable day and that day just happens to be today. heh.

update at 7.47 p.m.:

the gathering ends and it's fun like the one on Christmas last year! everyone's kind as always and it's just nice to finish this short 'journey' with such happy faces. a lot of new faces, too; hope they can do well in job and befriend the ones worked before them. :) -cheer for them-

there were games and we took pictures together just like before, but this time everyone got to write some sort of testimonies or supportive messages to their teammates that were divided for the games earlier. and out of seven people I got three that were obviously random supportive words while the other three are related to smile...? like 'keep smiling the way you do now', garsh, did I smile too much? I... -shrug- garsh, I did smile too much, didn't I? -look down- and one even said 'to keep being gentle and soft' like... what? lol.

anyway, short after was dinner. a nice co-worker offered me a ride there and I just can only thank her for her kindness. so many kind people and smiles. I could only thank the owner for everything as I left the restaurant and later the kind co-worker who gave me a ride dropped me at an alley one minute away from my house.

as I continued my way home through the alley, the sky was cloudy and the stars were dim, yet the moon shone brightly. part of me really felt like I was finally free from all these obligations that seem to bind yet are very enjoyable at times, while part of me felt like I've lost something.

all and all, it was really a great experience I had had in this workplace; the one filled with kind people and really kind owners whose principals are still ones I admire even until now. hopefully everyone's happy and that I can meet more kind people like them in the future. you guys, too, okay. :')